Salon Ettiquette

I like to hope that a beauty salon really should in essence feel like your home away from home – that’s my dream anyhow, so I totally understand some behaviours that go on when a client walks into a salon, but there are some who either don’t get the concept, or get the concept a little tooooo well. Yes, you are paying for a service, so realistically you can do whatever the heck you want, but if you would like your beauty therapist not to secretly detest the sight of you, or if you’re generally a nice person and want to make someone else’s job bearable, let’s look at at a few beauty salon examples of ettiquette.

The Destroyer

These are the most common form of client – I’ve just finished a facial or a massage, or my favourite, a simple eyebrow wax. I leave the room to allow the lovely (or not so lovely) client to readjust, get up in her own time and wander out to reception so she can hopefully buy lots of lovely things (which I sincerely hope she needs) to add to my sales target to keep the salon ‘manager’ off my back this week. No dramas. Re-enter the room to prepare for the next client who is already waiting and discover the last one has created a category 5 cyclone in the room and shit is everywhere. Did you raid the cupboards? Was there a nest of spiders under the towels? Was there a call for an emergency evacuation that I missed? Moral: pretend you are a guest in a friends house and be polite enough to neatly place the towels back on the bed, or at least place your disposable g-string IN the bin.

The Nag

Ain’t nobody going to see literally 2 hairs missed on your upper upper thigh. I am operating in a low light environment under extreme time pressures. If you are that concerned, let me sell you some tweezers. Also please do not complain about my colleague who did your last treatment because I am probably friends with her. And if you need to give me pointers for a full15 minutes on your preffered eyebrow shape, I think you should be doing this at home. Moral: tweezers. Or let me do my job.

The Princess

Best reoccurring nightmare is the lovely, SUPER friendly, sweet and mildly condescending house-wife who needs to tell me every single week how BUSY her life is preparing for all the entertaining on the weekend and goodness only knows how she is going to fit in her gym session, and my god she has to go and buy 4 bread rolls on the way home. Moral: reality check.

The Teenager

Your one hour facial is one hour. If you would like your pimples popped for 57 minutes, you really could make that clear when you arrive, and maybe note it will likely only give you more pimples. Moral: don’t pop your zits.

The Psych Case

This is a really sad one and I will do my best to help in every way possible when it is my business one day, I know it’s hard but your beauty therapist is most likely not a trained counsellor. By all means, tell me things are hard at the moment, or that you are having a bad day, or ask me to keep an eye out for help for you, but please don’t tell me more than you would your dentist or bank manager because there are things I have been told that I can’t unhear, and what makes it worse is that I was in no position to be able to help you – leaving me with a horrific feeling of guilt and pity and worry. I will try in future but moral: get professional help if you need it and look after YOU.

The Urinator (you heard me)

Without further embarrassment to this person – please please for the love of God go and PEE BEFORE your appointment. I will happily wait an extra 5 minutes if you gotta go. Please. PLEEAASE.

The Loaded and got my Sh!t Together

I love these women and not for the reasons you think – they are cool, calm, chilled, friendly regulars who love a 3 hour package and leave a tip. They don’t complain, they don’t demand, they simply have an expectation which 99% of the time we can meet. Please keep coming.

The Non-Scheduler

“I was just walking past, do you have time for a full leg wax???” How do you plan your LIFE? and P.S if you haven’t had a wax since the dark ages, please TELL me so I can book a longer appointment. Moral: book your freakin appointments.

The “Escort”

Yes, working in the city you meet some interesting types and while not my client specifically I have some advice. Honey I am not judging you for your profession HOWEVER possibly best not to discuss the details of your job last night at top volume in the middle of a full reception of other waiting clients. Just sayin.

The Man

Ahhh the one client we are usually uncomfortable to meet. Massage = awkward. And please do not sexually harass my colleague, doesn’t happen all the time but it sure as hell does on occasions. And to the poor guys who are getting treatments because their girlfriend can’t stand their love handles or back hair, honey – trade that girl in for a new one. A fully developed phobia of your monthly wax, or your requirement to get up at 5am to make your 7am appointment to make your 8:30 am job is not an ok “compromise”. Moral: get a nice girlfriend who likes you as you are. And don’t be a pervert.

Overall moral to this story: treat your beauty therapist and salon like your mother’s friends house: be polite, respectful, but still have a little fun and enjoy your visit.

xx

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