The Art of Being a (Kickass) Lady

Today is a little off topic but something I think is essential to the whole hair, makeup, beauty package. I’m noticing more and more that moving through the ages (you know – I’m actually a 400 year old vampire so I notice these things) we’re losing a lot of the art of being a lady. It’s becoming the society norm to ‘fit in with the boys’, be chilled, hot, sexy af, smokers, drinkers, tattoo accumulating (myself included), rowdy, swearing, all rounder bad-ass bitches.

Which I totally support. However (comma), I think I have learned in my years the art of being a kickass lady which brings back a little more feminine charm, mystery, and elegance than the contemporary woman seems to carry.

Now for those of you who don’t know me, I was raised between Sydney and the absolute remotest bush of NSW, learned to shoot by the age of 6, drink beer by the age of 8, and started my first of many years of Taekwondo at the age of 16. But simultaneously, I was raised to speak correctly (when spoken to), wore pearls, white dresses, and french perfume, and then as a teenager and adult, taught to walk perfectly in high heels, how to get out of a Range Rover with elegance, and charm an entire room of corporate males. Work that one out people.

I’m talking synergy girls, and it’s something we need to work on. Here’s how I roll using my past few days as an example. Friday night I was dragged out of my apartment in my recently dumped state to ‘just come for dinner at Ivy and drinks upstairs all on the boss’  by a friend. “Wear something hot and get it together in 15 minutes”. Righto.

Me: Find the most flattering thing you own having just eaten a whole pack of pastizzis. Result: Knee length cocktail dress from my year ten formal (yes go me), sky high black strappy stilettos, red lipstick, clutch, and killer wrist cuff.

Arrived at Uccello Ivy, and here’s where the lady brings her game. Kiss on the cheek with a huge genuine smile, and heartfelt gratitude to the two hosts for inviting me and being so kind. Toast the managers for such a wonderful evening. Result: whole table smitten and wondering who on earth I am. Bonus: lots of free drinks.

By the end of the night I felt pretty damn intoxicated and think I was using a pole to hold me upright while waiting for an uber. I was approached by an English guy in a suit who I politely chatted to and agreed if he could memorise my number by heart (two dead phones) then I would agree to a glass of wine.

He freakin remembered it didn’t he. Arranged date for Tuesday after work.

Saturday night, dress casual for a housewarming party, and have a few drinks and chat to a group of gents I haven’t met before. Their conversation turns south to all sorts of crass humour – here’s the trick, didn’t get involved. Smiled politely and at times moved the conversation on where possible. Yes, could get involved with the best of them but why? Is it really ok for guys to talk about some pretty nasty shit to two girls they’ve never met?

Result: Lovely, tall, handsome guy approached me at the end of the night and says “I just want to apologise for my friends’ behaviour earlier and the low-brow humour – I hope we didn’t offend you”. Oh my god, does it get sweeter than that.

What I’m trying to say here with only  a couple of examples is sometimes there’s a better way to attract attention than loud laughter, obvious flirtation, and sexy leading conversation. Maybe next time try dressing so Audrey Hepburn would approve, smile with your eyes, accept someone’s arm, or an open door, and show a little class, intelligence, and reserve.

I guarantee you will captivate an entire room and meet some to-die-for gentlemen in the process.

All my love,

L xx

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